Current Mood: introspective

The person who risks nothing, does nothing, has nothing, is nothing, and becomes nothing. He may avoid suffering and sorrow, but he simply cannot learn and feel and change and grow and love and live.
-Leo F. Buscaglia

Kris Allen and Tim McGraw both sing songs about how you should live like you’re dying. I suppose the ideas behind that philosophy is that you shouldn’t be afraid to take risks and do the things you’ve always wanted to do. You should always treat others the way you’d want to be treated. You should love deeply and act out of compassion and kindness… as if you’re always leaving a final impression. And you shouldn’t fear telling others how much they mean to you.

That’s a great outlook to have, but when it comes down to it, I can rarely muster up the courage to take some of the risks that are implied. Looking back at my life, there are many times I regret not doing something more often than I regret things that I’ve done. Logical and calculated and always in control… that’s me, probably too much for my own good sometimes most of the time. I have to know that I know that I know things are going to work out according to plan or I just won’t take the risk. It’s a tragic flaw.

I’ve been contemplating taking risks lately, and having courage, and going out on a limb, and not being afraid to let my ship leave the shore, and every other very cliché phrase you can think of. I am often my own worst enemy. I regret things I never finished. I regret moves I never made. And more than anything I regret things I never said but should have. I’m not saying I’m ready to “go 2.7 seconds on a bull named Fu Man Chu”, but I really should give the concept more consideration; live like I’m dying. In all actuality, we are all dying. We wake up each morning, subconsciously thinking that tomorrow is a given. In reality, each day is one step closer to the end and we never know which day might be our last.