Current Mood: assertive

When it comes to relationships, maybe we’re all in glass houses, and shouldn’t throw stones. Because you can never really know. Some people are settling down, some are settling, and some people refuse to settle for anything less than butterflies…
-Carrie Bradshaw (Sex and the City)

You know that whole “Gosh, I just met you but I think you’re pretty much amazing and this might actually go somewhere… I hope it goes somewhere” feeling that you get when you first meet someone… the butterflies… all that stuff… Yeah… Admittedly, I’ve not felt that way in a LONG time …. dare I say maybe even years. More often than not, I find that I am constantly underwhelmed.

It’s not that I don’t ever meet guys. I meet them all the time; at work, out shopping, at restaurants and bars, online, at church, and through other friends. I’m just never very impressed. Maybe he’s good looking but he’s arrogant in a really bad way. Or maybe he’s really sweet but something just isn’t there… I’m not attracted to him. If he has money and/or a good paying job, he flaunts it. Or he’s cute and sweet… but has the IQ of a raisin. Or he’s jonesing to get married and have 2.5 kids immediately. (uh.. HELL no!) Or as my luck usually has it, he’s already married and is just looking for a little fun.

I’m finding that the older I get, the more selective I become too, which may not be such a good thing because the selection is also narrowing. I’m just not willing to settle though. Not anymore. Good judgment comes from experience, and experience comes from bad judgment. Over the years, I’ve put up with a lot of crap and well, let’s just say I’ve gotten my share of experience. While I’m not looking for someone to support me financially, I’m also not willing to take another broke man under my wing and help him pay his bills and child support. And I don’t want a man with a lot of drama and baggage. He needs to be mentally and emotionally stable; not still clinging to a previous relationship or fling. And I won’t try to force myself to be with someone I’m not physically attracted to just because he’s nice. Those never work out for me. I end up pushing him away. Furthermore, I will not settle for someone who isn’t intellectually stimulating. I need more to sustain me than simple conversations about soft drinks, 80′s hair metal bands, and NASCAR racing.

Its aggravating. I’m not one of those clingy girls that has to always have someone. As a matter of fact, I actually like a certain amount of time by myself. Sometimes though I think it’d be nice to have someone to hang out with; someone to do those couple things with. But good grief, aren’t there any guys left who are normal, non-crazy, intelligent, relatively attractive, fun-loving, unattached and SINGLE? *sigh* Nevertheless, if I can’t find anyone that fits the bill, then I’m perfectly content with being by myself.