Current Mood: rejuvenated

I was supposed to go to Nashville this weekend and I took Friday through Monday off work just for the occasion. Things just didn’t pan out though and I didn’t get to go. At first I was really bummed out that my planned weekend-o-fun wasn’t going to happen, but I now realize the down time was just what I needed.

Not only have I gotten an opportunity to rest and catch up on sleep, but I’ve also had time to think about a few things and clear my head a bit. See, the other day at work, I kinda got a little bent out of shape. Perhaps overwhelmed is a better word. Hell, we’ll call it a mini-breakdown. I left for lunch and just drove around and cried. CRIED. Me! …. I don’t cry, folks.

I feel like I have so much to accomplish in the next few months. Actually I have more than a few months…like 8 or 9 months probably before I move. That should be plenty of time. But then the gears in my head started turning…

What if something happens and I need to move sooner?
What about the lease I have now?
Will I have enough money to make this happen? I have to…
Will I be able to find a place to live?
I probably need to get rid of some of my junk before I move… downsize
What area is it that I need to live in to ensure I’m close enough to work?
Will I actually get a job transfer?
Which location will it be? I can’t look for a place until I know…
Am I going to have to find a room mate? {I shudder at the thought}
What about school? I plan on going back and need to make sure I live close enough to that too…

I tend to get a little frantic when there are big things happening and I don’t have a solid game plan. Right now, I just don’t. And recently we’ve learned of some big changes at work that are rolling out in a couple of weeks. At this point, I’m not sure how these changes are going to affect my job. That’s one of the wonderful things about my job… they love to keep you in the dark for as long as they can before they throw something huge at you. Its fabulous!

When I freaked out the other day, I was thinking that somehow these changes may force me to act much faster than I anticpated. It still may… I don’t know. The panic set in because of my lack of a game plan. The timing has to be perfect for everything to go smoothly. The past few days I’ve had a chance to think things through, regroup, refocus and calm down about it. Worst case scenario is I go with the flow with the new changes and ride it out until closer time for my lease to be up. In the meantime, I build my game plan. This is what I have to do anyway… this is the logical process. I just had to get my head back on straight. I have other bigger opportunities in the works too so I really need to chill out and know everything is going to be OK.

As for a couple of other smaller things I’ve had on my mind, I’ve decided there’s a song lyric that sums it up best:

♪ ♫ You got to know when to hold ‘em, know when to fold ‘em,
Know when to walk away and know when to run. ♪ ♫