Current Mood: contemplative

Always expect the worst, and you will never be disappointed. -Peter Wastholm

What a cynical and pessimistic attitude to have. I don’t like it at all. Nevertheless, that statement is very true. I’ve been thinking a lot about expectations lately and have determined that they are completely unfair. They are unfair to the person you have the expectation of because it sets them up for failure. They are unfair to the person who holds the expectation because it sets them up for disappointment.

Having an expectation of someone is merely a prediction that someone has constructed in their own mind of how a person is supposed to act or how they will or should respond in certain situations. It is a formulated guess or an assumption… and we all know what we get when we assume things. So it could perhaps be said that having expectations of people makes about as much sense as depending on a Farmer’s Almanac or on one of the Nostradamus predictions, right? Just because a person’s previous demeanor and/or behaviors lead you to believe that they may feel or act a certain way mean that they’ll continue on that same path. It doesn’t mean that they won’t change their mind. It doesn’t mean that they can’t or won’t flip a switch and turn into a total douche bag over night. It also doesn’t mean that someone who has previously lead you to believe that they are a total jackass can’t change for the better. You just never know.

I’ll admit that I often have some pretty high expectations of people, and more often than not, I find myself disappointed. Perhaps my expectations are simply too high… unrealistic even. Perhaps my imagination runs wild and I bring it all upon myself, the disappointment that is. See, I start planning things in my head… how I think they’re going to happen… how I think people are going to behave and react… and when it doesn’t happen that way, I feel let down.

I tend to take everything literally. EVERYTHING. If you tell me something, I assume that you mean it and that’s the way it is. Its not that I’m naive and think that all people are honest, its simply that my thought process rarely considers that a person may just be blowing smoke, joking, or straight up lying. It’s a downfall of mine and I realize it. I consciously have to work at keeping this it check.

A very large part of the way I think is very logical and practical and calculated… yep, its in my sign. Before I make decisions, I analyze everything and weigh options carefully. I even make lists of pros and cons sometimes. Ambiguity makes me very uncomfortable. Maybe I get too wrapped up in the planning and fail to live in the moment. This is where my expectations come from. I’m always thinking ahead… always. Capricorns are like that. We plan and calculate risks and well, its just who I am. I don’t easily deal with letting cards fall where they may. I need a game plan.

What I’m trying to say is that I need to stop expecting things out of people. Its simply not fair. Things are not always going to necessarily be what I’ve imagined they might be or what I want them to be or not be. I’m not always going to be able to plan ahead. And it doesn’t help matters to get frustrated when people and things don’t coincide with my fabricated expectations. You can’t predict people. Everyone has their own attitudes and assumptions and free will. As a matter of fact, I’m sure that right now someone else has an expectation of me that I’m not living up to.