Current Mood: amused

I had to be at work at 9am this morning. Sure, I could have gotten up at 8 and made it right on time, but instead I got up an hour early to straighten up around here a little. Not for any particular reason did I do this. I wasn’t expecting company this evening or anything, but simply because I wanted to. I just don’t do clutter and untidiness these days.

As I was putting away some clean clothes, it dawned on me that I am a much better housekeeper when its just me. I was up at 7am putting away clean laundry. You folks just don’t know… that’s the one chore I loathe more than anything… putting away clean clothes. And there I was getting out of bed early to do it.

Its the little things like that which get the wheels in my head turning. The more I contemplated this idea throughout the day, the more I realized that there are multiple areas of my life that are better when its just me. It was like an epiphany! And then I started wondering… am I just better off being alone? Sure seems that way sometimes.

For instance, my money is better when I’m the only one involved. Now you would think that two incomes are better than one, but I seem to have a lot more money now than I ever did before. Now I’m paying all the bills and they get paid on time. I have more money to spend on things that I want AND I have money to go out and do things too. Its not logical, but somehow it works out that way.

I am healthier too when its just me. I eat less and better and my weight drops. I sleep better and feel more rested. I have more energy. It all works together I guess. Maybe its because I’m not eating out all the time. Maybe its because I’m busier as a single person and don’t turn into a couch potato. Whatever the reason is, I like it. Not too long ago someone said to me, “single looks good on you”. I’m rather inclined to agree with them.

Emotionally, I seem much better too. Maybe its because I don’t get the alone time that I need when I’m constantly with someone. It might be because I focus on them and not myself. I do tend to lose a bit of my identity when I get involved. Nevertheless, now I have the time to focus on me and I’m a much happier girl. Within just a few weeks of splitting out of my last relationship, people started telling me how much happier I seemed. I was out-going again and my whole personality changed for the better. I felt like a heavy weight had been lifted off of me and I could finally breathe again.

I have a cousin who is a traveling salesman and is away from home quite a bit. His wife said to me the other day that “a traveling salesman is the best kind of husband to have because you get a lot of alone time”. I mentioned something similar not too long ago. I think that’d be the only way I could make it work. I’d have to make sure that I had enough “me time” so that I didn’t lose myself in it.

Sometimes I think it’d be kinda nice to have someone around sometimes… ya know, someone to talk to, hang out with, or cuddle with on the couch and watch a movie with. But… not all the time. heh! {I’m likely to attract someone with that attitude, huh?!} Apparently, I just don’t do relationships well. They drag me down or something. Or maybe its just the people I’ve dated before. Who knows. Obviously my track record seems to show that I function better on my own than when I’m with someone. Gah, I think I’m just destined to become the old cat lady. HA!