Current Mood: flirtatious

Up until a few weeks ago, I had never seen a single episode of Sex and the City. Yup, not a single one. I always thought it was something I just wouldn’t care for. I’m not sure why, but after watching just the first few episodes, I was absolutely hooked.

I’m only through Season 3 right now, but I’ve decided this has got to be the most “real” show ever! And it is SO me! Some of the conversations that these women have, I can totally see my friends and I having similar conversations and actually being in these situations. Gah, I can’t believe I missed out on this gloriousness all these years. And I know all of you are thinking, “well, yeah.. duh”.

The only reason I decided I wanted to watch is because a good guy friend once told me that I am like Samantha. Not having any idea what that meant, I wanted to find out. And well…. Sure, I may not let my heart get all mushy and wrapped up in men very often, but I am here to tell you that I am NOT like Samantha. And I have since told my friend that I absolutely resent that statement and that he has a very misconstrued perception of who I am. To that, he laughed and said, “Oh yeah, you’re SO Samantha. Besides… she’s the hottest one!” Whatever.

The truth is, I see a little bit of each of these women in myself. Samantha, she’s confident and aggressive. She makes it known what she wants and goes after it, but she’s not going to kiss anybody’s ass to get it either. In that aspect, I’m like Samantha. That other big thing about her being a total ho-bag, yeah…. not so much though. And Charlotte… Poor thing. She has a fairytale idea of what love and relationships should be. She’s sweet, optimistic, and classy… I can be those things, but unlike Charlotte, I am not looking to get married at the drop of a hat. Miranda, may be the one I relate to least, mainly because she seems butchy to me and somewhat of a feminist. That’s never really been my thing. But she’s also calculated, tough, and guarded. I totally get all of that. Carrie is the one I most identify with though. She’s smart and independent but has her insecurities too. She’s got a soft romantic side, but also that “bad girl” side too. And while she’d like to find a good man, she’s not going to settle either. She probably over-thinks things and then writes about them. Yep, I’m Carrie Bradshaw.

Current Mood: rejuvenated

I was supposed to go to Nashville this weekend and I took Friday through Monday off work just for the occasion. Things just didn’t pan out though and I didn’t get to go. At first I was really bummed out that my planned weekend-o-fun wasn’t going to happen, but I now realize the down time was just what I needed.

Not only have I gotten an opportunity to rest and catch up on sleep, but I’ve also had time to think about a few things and clear my head a bit. See, the other day at work, I kinda got a little bent out of shape. Perhaps overwhelmed is a better word. Hell, we’ll call it a mini-breakdown. I left for lunch and just drove around and cried. CRIED. Me! …. I don’t cry, folks.

I feel like I have so much to accomplish in the next few months. Actually I have more than a few months…like 8 or 9 months probably before I move. That should be plenty of time. But then the gears in my head started turning…

What if something happens and I need to move sooner?
What about the lease I have now?
Will I have enough money to make this happen? I have to…
Will I be able to find a place to live?
I probably need to get rid of some of my junk before I move… downsize
What area is it that I need to live in to ensure I’m close enough to work?
Will I actually get a job transfer?
Which location will it be? I can’t look for a place until I know…
Am I going to have to find a room mate? {I shudder at the thought}
What about school? I plan on going back and need to make sure I live close enough to that too…

I tend to get a little frantic when there are big things happening and I don’t have a solid game plan. Right now, I just don’t. And recently we’ve learned of some big changes at work that are rolling out in a couple of weeks. At this point, I’m not sure how these changes are going to affect my job. That’s one of the wonderful things about my job… they love to keep you in the dark for as long as they can before they throw something huge at you. Its fabulous!

When I freaked out the other day, I was thinking that somehow these changes may force me to act much faster than I anticpated. It still may… I don’t know. The panic set in because of my lack of a game plan. The timing has to be perfect for everything to go smoothly. The past few days I’ve had a chance to think things through, regroup, refocus and calm down about it. Worst case scenario is I go with the flow with the new changes and ride it out until closer time for my lease to be up. In the meantime, I build my game plan. This is what I have to do anyway… this is the logical process. I just had to get my head back on straight. I have other bigger opportunities in the works too so I really need to chill out and know everything is going to be OK.

As for a couple of other smaller things I’ve had on my mind, I’ve decided there’s a song lyric that sums it up best:

♪ ♫ You got to know when to hold ‘em, know when to fold ‘em,
Know when to walk away and know when to run. ♪ ♫

Current Mood: amused

This is the first Valentine’s Day in several years that I don’t have a boyfriend. It really doesn’t seem that much different though. In the past, boyfriend or not, the day has been pretty uneventful anyway.

Before I go any further let me just say this: Men, I get it. To most of you, it is silly. It’s commercialized. It’s overrated. You loathe the whole mushy lovey-dovey idea of Valentine’s Day and having to come up with and spend money on a “thoughtful gift”. And if you do it, its merely out of obligation. I get that. Nevertheless, most women love it if their man makes an effort. Getting the flowers at work makes us feel special. Letting us get dressed up and taking us to a nice dinner…well, we just like that stuff.

I have a good friend at work and this dude absolutely adores his wife. He talks about her all the time and is constantly thinking of things do for her and places to take her. He always puts a lot of thought into gifts for her. I know because he often asks my opinion before he buys stuff. And I’m here to tell you her Valentine’s Day gift is rockin! He actually picked out something for her that I’ve been wanting myself for a while. I think she’s going to love it! Honestly, I’d love to have someone who put in just half the effort he does.

Thinking back over the past few years, I’m having a hard time remembering actually being taken out anywhere for Valentine’s Day. That’s kinda pathetic, isn’t it? Not only that, but most of the gifts I’ve gotten, if anything at all, have been half-assed and thrown together at the last minute. Honestly, it’s not about the gift or the meal or the cost of it all. The thing is when there is zero thought put into these gifts, it translates to a woman that her guy just doesn’t care about her. To me, a cooked meal at home would be fabulous if there was thought put into it. Most women aren’t very superficial. We just want to know that our guy cares. We all know I have a track record of picking some real winners though.

A few years ago, I got a dancing mechanical hamster. Yes, really. It was accompanied by a SpongeBob Squarepants Valentine’s Day card. All of it was given to me in a plastic Bi-Lo bag. I actually found this little guy the other day. If you push the button on his foot, he sings “Love Machine”.

That has to be one of the worst.

One year, I had a boyfriend actually break up with me on Valentine’s Day. Nice, huh? We had been together for about a year. We ended up getting back together a few months later and stayed together until the next Valentine’s Day. A couple of days after, we split up again. I did get flowers the second year though. We laugh about it now. I tell him he just didn’t want to get me anything.

Yeah so needless to say, Valentine’s Day has been somewhat underwhelming for me throughout the years. It’s just another day to me. So humor me. What’s your best or worst Valentine’s Day gift or experience?